Crying of the Soul

Ever faced with a situation where you have an intriguing feeling, that you actually wanted to do something, but somehow are unable to recollect it…? The more you think, the more you start becoming confused… “Something has got amiss... but what?”
Then you might temporarily forget about the incident amidst the rustle and bustle of your busy life, but once coming back home, and lying down on the bed, the same thought grips you again… It is almost a never-ending trail of thoughts, which once triggered, almost has no signs to stop! Feeling confused, you get up, and start watching television. Dissatisfied, you call up over phone for chatting with your friends, or maybe start surfing internet.

But unfortunately, the thought just never stops coming, and as if waits for you be alone. You do whatever you like, but are unable to get rid of it…
Fearsome situation, isn’t it! Something wrong happening inside me, that I cannot find out!!! Someone has called it Noise of Silence *1.

But why does it happen in the first place? I believe the reason might be that there is an internal subconscious mind, which is governed by the underlying deep rooted principles of us. On the top of it, there are the ‘right thoughts’ and ‘good ideas’ that are also continuously pouring in from unknown source… *2.

This inner world of ours has a different mind of its own, and hence a different set of necessities, which may not be aligned to the goals and objectives that we have set for our lives. You know the difference of need and want, right? Need is the actual requirement, while Want is what we actually venture out to satisfy... Now as always, there might not be a positive correlation between the two! We might be actually needing something, but have our objective towards acquiring something else...

But what happens, when the distance increases between these two parameters? Our inner self starts showing discontent. As an expected response, this might start with snarls and grunts, which may be easily overlooked. Getting no redress, the discontent now slowly starts rising. Sometimes, it might simply hijack our senses, so that we might witness temporary pull-out from the surroundings, like getting lost in a dream-world. Like while reading a book which we do not like, but we must, it can happen that we start thinking something else. Only our physical presence is there, but the mind is somewhere else. Our eyes are staring at the book, but the senses are not registering anything (something which is called absence of mind)...

Still getting no response, that discontent may get converted to anger, or sadness... In the latter case, we get slowly submerged in the deep dark pit of confusion and gloom. We understand something is happening, but not sure what. We keep on trying, but can't get a clue. So we indulge ourselves more into more occupying activities in an attempt to douse fire with volcano. Apparently, as those activities (often intoxiacting like watching TV, surfing net, visiting pubs) require so much attention of our senses, we can continue to overlook the cry from inside, what was portrayed at the start of this topic.

It's like a maddening feeling, of being chased by something, from which you can run, but cannot hide...

So what may be the solution of this?

Answer is to apply plain and simple common sense. To douse fire, we will need water. Likewise, to get rid of complaints, we will need to address the particular situation. So one can ask how do we know what is the real need. The only answer is, instead of asking yourself questions, just be ready to listen to it. Be silent. Cut off all your sensory connection to the outside world. And just listen.

What happens when a toddler cries out loud? His mother, even if busy with some other work, will definitely forget everything else, and pay attention to her child. She will take him in her lap, caress and comfort him, till he stops crying. Why can't we do the same to our inner self. After all, we are the only caretakers of our inside. In fact, we are the only means by which our feelings and desires could be manifested into actions. So if we do not pay attention, who will? Is that not a sort of injustice that we commit to ourselves by not paying attention to what we need?

So we need to take up the initiative to nip the problem in its root. We can reserve some time every day, which we spend only with ourselves. So that the day never comes, that our soul has to cry. Because, hurting our soul is as henous, as hurting God Himself...

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Footnote:
*1 : The term "Noise of Silence" is from Sudeep's blog . Actually, the idea of the headline came from that particular post only.

*2 : The unknown source, to me, is the divine intelligence. Maybe we can discuss about this some other day.